Living With Intention: The 3-Month Exercise That Can Change Everything

What would you do differently if you found out you only had three months left to live?

It’s a heavy question—but also a necessary one. In this powerful solo episode, Doc Danny Matei, founder of PT Biz, challenges us to confront the uncomfortable truth most of us avoid: we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. And if we really sit with that, it can change the way we live today.

This isn’t a typical episode about business strategy or cash-based practice systems. This is about life. About being honest with yourself. About waking up to the fact that too many people spend their lives climbing a mountain they don’t even want to be on—only to realize too late that they should’ve picked a different path.

The Regret Exercise That Changed His Life

Danny shares a deeply personal mindset exercise he’s returned to again and again over the years: if you were going to die in three months, what would you regret? What would you change immediately? What conversations would you have, what career decisions would you revisit, what parts of your life would you stop tolerating?

This question originally came into his life through the work of author Ryan Holiday, whose books on stoic philosophy (especially The Obstacle Is the Way) helped Danny reframe his approach to work and life. But it became even more real when he was exposed to people living lives that were radically different from the one he had planned—especially while working under a special operations military contract.

For years, Danny was on what he thought was the right track. He came from a long line of military service members. He joined the Army, had clear goals, and was steadily climbing the ranks. But somewhere along the way, he began to feel the pull of something else. Something more aligned. Something of his own making.

From the “Safe Path” to a Life Aligned With Values

Like many of us, Danny grew up in a world where certain paths were considered normal—and safe. Go into the military. Get a stable job. Earn a pension. Follow the proven road.

But as he puts it: "You might be climbing a mountain that doesn’t even belong to you."

It wasn’t until he began meeting people with financial freedom, time freedom, and family flexibility—people who had built businesses on their own terms—that he realized he had options. He could choose a different path. He could stop chasing validation through achievements and start building a life that aligned with his values, not just his resume.

That shift didn’t come easy. It meant walking away from security, from expectations, from other people’s definitions of success. But it was worth it.

The Most Common Regret of the Dying

Danny references a book that has shaped much of his thinking: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, written by a palliative care nurse who interviewed hundreds of patients at the end of their lives. The number one regret?

“I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Let that sink in.

So many people never take the risk of living their own life. They stay in jobs they hate. They avoid starting that business, having that hard conversation, making that bold move—because they’re afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid of what others will think. Afraid of the unknown.

But as Danny reminds us, the unknown isn’t inherently dangerous. It’s just unfamiliar. And everything you want in life is on the other side of it.

Why This Matters for Clinicians and Entrepreneurs

If you're in healthcare or running your own clinic, you might already feel that tension. You became a PT, chiro, or healthcare provider to help people—but somehow got stuck in a system that drains you. Maybe you're still working a job that doesn't value you. Maybe you're dreaming of starting your own practice but haven’t made the leap.

The message here is simple but powerful: wake up.

Take the time to reflect. Write down what you would regret not doing. And then make a plan to change it—before it’s too late.

Because the truth is, no one is going to hand you permission to live the life you want. You have to decide it’s worth building, then take action toward it every single day.

Final Thoughts from Doc Danny

This isn’t just motivational fluff. It’s a framework for making better, braver decisions.

You don’t need to burn your life down overnight. But you do need to get honest: Is what you’re doing aligned with who you are and what you want?

If the answer is no—then it’s time to shift.

You’re not stuck. You’re just scared. And that’s okay. Because courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s action in the face of it.

Feeling Out of Alignment? Here's What to Do Next:

If you know you’re ready for more control, clarity, and freedom in your life and business, we’ve got three powerful ways to help you take that first step:

👉 Join the Free 5-Day PT Biz Challenge
Discover how hundreds of clinicians have made the leap to out-of-network and cash-based success, and how you can too.
🔗 https://www.physicaltherapybiz.com/challenge

👉 Book a Free Discovery Call
Talk with a senior advisor who can help you make sense of your goals and give you a plan for the path forward.
🔗 Book your call here

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Podcast Transcript

Danny: 

 Hey, Danny Matta here, founder of PT Biz, and. I have a question for you, and it might be uncomfortable, but I think it's important for you to really think through this and do this occasionally.

If you got diagnosed with a disease that was going to kill you in three months and there's no cure, there's nothing you can do about it, what would you regret? What would you change? What would you do differently? And I think this is an important exercise to go through, and this is something that I do on, I would say, a semi-regular basis, at least a few times a year.

I really sit down and think about this, and it's something that I learned through Ryan Holiday's work, who's an author, who's written a number of different things, but someone who's been very impactful on me. And ironically, I got, uh, exposed to, uh, to Ryan's work while I was actually working. Uh, on a military contract.

So I had gotten a contract to work at a military special operations group in, uh, North Carolina. And while I was up there, the uh, head medic that brought me in, he said, Hey, man, um, I. Have you ever heard of Ryan Holiday? He was just here yesterday and, um, I didn't know who he was. I'd never, I'd never heard of him.

Um, but he had brought a bunch of books with him and, uh, one of the books that, that, uh, that they had was a book called The Obstacle is the Way, which is, uh, the first Ryan holiday book, uh, that I read. And he's written many, many more books since then. Um, but has been a, a massive influence on me, and I would say in a really positive way, probably the, the most, uh, impactful author on me, uh, that, that I've.

You know, that I've ever experienced. And he has an interesting way of weaving stories and history with stoic philosophy and, um, you know, and, and it's just a really, really good writer. And for some reason it resonates with me. And in particular, the idea of using this, this concept of, uh, of death being right around the corner as a way to stop you from living a complacent life as a way to help you squeeze.

Every bit of juice out of life that exists, and a way to not take things for granted because that's what most people do. And if you look around, most people in our lives are living. Lives of complacency, of silent desperation, of not doing the things, not having the conversations, you know, not, not experiencing the things that they're supposed to or they want to in life because they're maybe living a life for somebody else.

Or they're afraid of making a change. And, you know, for, for me, when I think about these things, I think about what, what things am I not saying to people? What things am I not doing in my own life? What people am I not impacting? You know, what, what, what things am I, am I not doing because of fear of whatever that that might be?

And it makes me rethink that and it makes me move closer to, uh, like living that life that I wouldn't regret and. Between Ryan's work and a book called, uh, the Top Five Regrets of the Dying, um, which is basically a palliative care nurse that interviewed all these people. She was taking care of them, uh, right, right as they were about to die and, and came up with the five most, you know, common things that they regret.

And the first, the number one thing was not living a life true to themself and to living a life that others expected them to live. That's the number one thing. Let that soak in for a second. Because a lot of people that we work with, they're, it, it's not that they picked the wrong careers and maybe they have, you know, uh, and they go and they do something else, but the doing something that aligns with you, that aligns with the life that you want to live with, with the.

Uh, the values that you have, you know, that, that creates the life that you want, doesn't become your life. And fortunately, fortunately for me, I have been exposed to mentors that you live a very unique life that, uh, experienced the world in a unique way. And I got to see that as someone that was. Very much on a path that I thought was the right path.

Like, let, let me put this in perspective, okay. When I joined the Army in 2007, I, I thought, this is it. This is what I'm supposed to do. My whole family, grandparents, parents, brother, you know, brother-in-law, my, even my in-laws, uh, a, a active duty military, most of them for a career. That is what we do. Matay go into the military, they stay for a career.

It's the, it's the safe path. You get a pension, you get healthcare for life, you know, you get to serve your country. You, uh, you, you know, you work hard. You, you make rank, whatever. That's what I thought. That's it. That's what I'm doing. That's exactly what I went and I did, and my goal. With all of it was I wanted to be the highest ranking person in my family ever, which is a, when, when I say it out loud is a silly goal.

Who fucking cares? I. Know what I'm saying? Like, who cares? But I cared because it was, and it was an achievement, and achievements are what I always got positive reinforcement from, whether it's sports or school or you know, whatever military awards. It's, it's a positive reinforcement loop. That, for me, was something that I craved.

Like I wanted that validation. And when I, you know, got into my military career and I was well on my way to do the same thing, the same path. When I started to get exposed to people that were living a different life than what I saw, that was normal. Which I grew up on military bases. That's normal for me.

Hearing Black Hawk helicopters go over my head was what I listened to while I waited for the fricking bus. Like that was normal for me. Hearing people, you know, marching in formation and running and, and, and, and, uh, and, and, and, you know, yelling in the mornings like that was normal for me. And I, and as I started to get exposed to people that were living different types of lives, really unique lives.

And ex were experiencing the world and we're spending more time with their family. And they were, they were, you know, able to, uh, have financial freedom and time freedom. I just was like so blown away by this other path, and it's like, I'm, I'm climbing a mountain. And, and it's hard and it's, I'm making progress, but it's like I got like halfway there and I looked around, I was like, shit, I wanna go up the other mountain.

Like, I didn't know that mountain was maybe more for me and aligned more with what I wanted, because I just didn't know. Right. I didn't know what I didn't know. And thankfully for me, I, I got exposed to people that really helped me view the world in a different way. You may not have that. You may not have a mentor that you see and, and you, you can use as an example of what you want to move towards, which I think is really important.

And finding a mentor that aligns with what you want to do, even from afar, uh, and seeing somebody as an example of like, yes, this seems to be the right path for me, can be very powerful. But just sitting down and thinking through this example of what if. Three months from now, you're not here anymore. What would you regret?

What would you have done differently? And instead of just thinking about that, start to make plans to take action towards doing that different thing. And for us, and, and I'm, I'm gonna bring this back to what we help a lot of people with. It's when they make a directional change in their career, when they go out on their own, you know, when, when they decide that they want to take, take a different path.

It's very scary. It's very scary because of the unknown, right? The unknown and the unknown is not dangerous necessarily. It's the unknown is scary because we're not sure what's gonna happen. We're, we're not sure if we're gonna bail or, or succeed or if, um, you will have to go back to what we were doing before and it'll be embarrassing.

There's like so many things that stop us from making these changes. But if you really sit down and think about, well, what if three months from now. I'm outta here. I don't have a choice. What would you do differently? That is a strong, strong barometer of whether you're doing the right thing or not. And as morbid as that is, that is a strong motivator for most people to not just sit and be complacent.

And every week is the same and every, you know, like you think about these things you want to do, but you never, ever take action on 'em. And if that's what it takes to sit down and do this a couple times a year, I'm all for it because. The reality is we don't know, and I don't know about you, but I have friends in, in, you know, recently that have gotten sick.

Uh, they were healthy. I have have friends who have passed away unexpectedly. This shit isn't a guarantee. I. And I think if you take the lens of that and you can apply it in a way where before something negative happens, and hopefully nothing ever does, you decide to live a life that's intentional and that you're moving towards what you want because you know that's what you want and you've taken the time to decide what life you want.

What experiences you want, what legacy you want to have, what things you want to be able to share with friends, family, whatever. Whatever's important to you, and maybe it's a completely different career. Who knows? Maybe you got into physical therapy because your whole family is physical therapists and this is what you saw as normal.

It's why I went into the military. It's what I saw was normal. That was what my family did. It's why you see a whole family of dentists, everybody's a dentist. Do you think everybody in that family actually wants to be a dentist? I bet you one of 'em wants to be a a fucking songwriter and they can't do it 'cause they're too scared what their family's gonna say.

And that sucks and that's sad. And for those of us that are awake enough to realize, hey, we do have the agency over what we're gonna do. We can make our own decisions and we're only here for who knows how long. You better make the right decisions for what you want to do with what aligns with you.

Because if you don't, you're gonna be just like those people that the palliative care nurse was interviewing the regret, living a life that wasn't in alignment with themself and they were living a life for somebody else. And I hate to even think about how many people are doing this on a day-to-day basis.

I have friends that are doing this. I'm sure you have friends that are doing this too. Some of you are probably doing this just like I was before I decided to make a, a. A change in my career and my life is very different now. I, I, I'll tell you this much. If I go back to 2007 and tell you know, myself what I was gonna be doing today, there's no way in hell I would, I would believe it.

I'd be like this. No chance. No way. Like, absolutely not am I gonna be, you know, whatever. What, doing what I do for a career now, living where I live, having the life that I have, which I'm very, very thankful for, but it didn't come without a lot of risk. It didn't come without a lot of changes that I had to make, and it didn't come without a lot of hard work, not just.

Like in the physical world in terms of like what I do for a living, but on myself to get really clear on what it is that I value and be intentional about that and continue to try to, you know, evolve and improve that. So I know that for some of you, this may be uncomfortable, but I hope that if anything, it's a bit of a wake up message that if you are not living the life that you know deep down you should be living, whatever that is, your career decisions you're making, where you're living, like whatever I.

It, you, you have an opportunity to wake up, make those changes. And as uncomfortable as they might be, it might be the most important thing you can possibly do. And if you're looking to make a change in your career to where you take ownership over your time and, and potentially even, you know, time and financial freedom, for those of you that can be successful.

Doing your own thing. Like, we're here for you. This is what we help people, help people with, help people achieve. And it's scary as hell. Don't get me wrong. Like I get it and I see it every single day with people that we work with and I'm numb to it now. It's not, it's not scary to me anymore, but it's not like I've forgotten what that felt like.

And when we help people go through the same thing and they start to make a change in their life, it's so awesome to see. So if you're listening to this and you are doing something that you know is not in alignment, what you really wanna do, then wake up. Make a change. Who knows how long we're gonna be here.